Discipline Tips

Discipline is just one of those areas that is so grey. No two people will agree on formulae for discipline of your kids. The information provided here is a combination of actual parenting experience combined with published information by parenting authors. Our two boys are 4 & 6. We use a consistent formula with the two of them...are they angels?? NO! Of course not, they are little kids and their job is to make us pull our hair out from time to time so let's not be fooled here. As with all the info we provide at ParentHelpNet it's REAL info and advice written by parents for parents with the assistance of other parents. With the exception of the Super Nanny. I'm pretty sure she doesn't have kids. (Correct me if I'm wrong!) However, just watching her TV show and reading her books shows that she paints a very clear picture for the kids. In a nutshell, her message is this. "Let's have some fun and learn to love and respect one another and the world we live in. However, just as for adults there are rules for children. Break them and this is what happens." People can knock the Super Nanny all they like, but the plain truth is this. Kids NEED rules and they need routine. Jo Frost provides this for kids and helps them to understand what happens when the rules get broken.

Dr Christopher Green is another great author on parenting ideas. Another one I have to recommend, being the father of 2 boys, is Raising Boys by Stephen Biddulph. Even if you have one son, this book is a must and really gives you an insight into the mind of the little terrors! One of my favourite books by Stephen Biddulph is called "The Secrets of Happy Children". This book is so straight forward and to the point and gives real practical advice using examples that we encounter every single day. Finally, I have recently read Michael Gurian's "The Wonder of Boys". If you have boys, it is in my opinion, the ultimate guide. Have a browse at  SeekBooks for these titles. Meanwhile, here is some food for thought!

Choose Your Battles

I'll never forget an episode of Oprah about 5 years ago, maybe less. Oprah was interviewing a person who dealt with child rearing and her best tip was "Choose your battles". This has been my favourite bit of parenting advice so it was the first to share with you. Your day is probably hard enough without subconsciously choosing to make an issue of something that you should probably let go.

Here's an example for you. If I had $1 for every time my 4 year old spilt his drink at the table in the past year or so, I could send you and a friend out to your favourite restaurant for a meal. Well, maybe for an entree and a glass of water! Anyway, the drink gets spilt...what are my thoughts??  (You know them, don't you!!). If I was to follow through with these thoughts, I would only make myself more upset and probably unreasonably scare my child...no point. Does the child learn anything? Probably not. At the end of the day the reality is that the tea towel will go into the wash today instead of tomorrow and mopping it up the first few times (only) will take less than a minute. So choose your battles; this is probably one that is not worth fighting. Instead, we did this...

We spoke firmly to our son about not being silly at the table. "Because you were being silly, you spilt your drink". He saw us clean it up the first or second time to show him how it is done, THEN, we taught him how to set the table and in particular we used drink coasters to show him where drinks should go so they don't get spilt (See the Dinner Time Routines page for some more info). After this, he then became responsible for cleaning up the spilt drink when it did occur, which was far less frequently.

Choose your battles...maintain YOUR perspective and credibility with your children and importantly, save your mental energy!

We have more information and advice coming soon, our next topic will be the famous "naughty chair". This works! Stay tuned.

Meanwhile, if you need help NOW, we have found some useful resources.

The following website has some suggestions on how to deal with anger problems in children. Click Here!

If someone who has 5 kids hasn't worked it all out, I give up!! Check this out!! Click Here!