Bedtime Routines

Kids are routine junkies. Let me say this again. Kids are routine junkies. They crave routine and lose the plot when the routine is disturbed. If you are an expectant parent, this website could potentially change the rest of your parenting life, so read on. If you're already a parent struggling for help getting your children to sleep, we will arm you with information that has been gained from real life parenting experience as well as combining ideas from some great books by authors such as Super Nanny Jo Frost, Dr Christopher Green and Robin Barker.

Kids are routine junkies. Did I say that already? (!) There is no better example of this than bedtime routines and if you have the opportunity to capitalise on this from day one, then YOU will be one of those parents who get the "how do you get your kids to do that?" questions from other jealous parents. For example, our boys have always gone to bed at around 7pm. They do not get out of bed until between around 6:30 and 7am. Daylight saving throws them out a little sometimes, but I guess that's to be expected. So how on earth did we manage that? OK, here comes the good stuff...

Have you noticed that most newborns kind of have their own little in built routine? Their routine may range from sleeping all the time to crying all the time, or perhaps somewhere in between. Basically, they sleep, wake up cranky and hungry, have a feed, look around for a little while, maybe have a poo then nod off. Not a bad life really is it? We have found the trick is their "awake time" as we used to call it. After they have a feed we sat our babies up for a while to let them burp. Then they'd spend some time awake taking in the sights of their new world. What a life!!

Then suddenly they would start to grizzle a little, maybe have a little cry or get fidgety. This is the first sign of tiredness and you will learn to pick up on it. All kids will be different but get to know this sign and you'll be in business. Right at that point, we would wrap the baby, give them a little cuddle and lay them down and hopefully put them into their cot either still awake or perhaps somewhat drowsy. This way the child starts to learn the routine that they get wrapped (There are some photos coming soon on how to wrap your baby if you're not sure) and put into bed...it must be time to have a snooze. This worked for both of our kids and for children of friends that we suggested it to. As your child gets older the only thing that will change is that their "awake time" will increase in length and they'll lose the wrap. Our two started to get out of their wrap by around 12 months. As they did this, we still wrapped them to put them to sleep (because of the routine thing!)but we would only wrap one arm then gradually phase it out completely.

If you are a new or expectant parent, I encourage you to try this technique. Remember the key is the first signs of tiredness. Of course it takes a couple of weeks to settle into anything with a newborn. Start this procedure when you feel comfortable. From very early, the only thing we did differently was that the feeds in the middle of the night were not followed up with the "awake time". The kids were burped then wrapped, settled and put back to sleep. Did it work every single time? Of course not. Sometimes they were unsettled for whatever reason and would take longer to get back to sleep. But just remember this. Kids are routine junkies! Try to stick to it. If you're wondering about "controlled crying" we did not use this until well after the 6 month mark. What is important here though is that babies need security. So always give them a kiss and a cuddle if they're unsettled.

If your children are older and won't go to sleep or sleep in their own beds, I say again, kids are routine junkies! Ask yourself though, who is setting the routine? You or the child? It's time to set a routine. Be firm, be reassuring and importantly, be consistent. Remember, little kids need loads of sleep. They have a really high metabolism and are growing at an extraordinarily rapid rate. In fact from birth to about 4 years of age, they're growing as fast as they ever will. THEY NEED SLEEP! You will notice the difference having well rested kids.

Send your kids to bed at a time you feel comfortable with. Ours go at around 7pm (aged 6 & 4). Often we'll extend this to 7:30pm, but on school nights, definitely 7pm. If your kids are night owls, then you need to start to pull their bedtimes back. Try bringing it back by 30 minutes each night for a week or so until you get to a more reasonable bedtime. But again, you must be consistent. Set the routine and stick to it. This is not negotiable. It is now bedtime, goodnight. Not only is this important for their health, but it's important for yours too. It gives you much needed time to chill out and relax with your partner or sit in the bath with a glass of wine. Time to yourself is never something to put off and having kids running around the house at 9:30 at night will slowly send you around the bend. Remember YOU HAVE A LIFE, you are a separate person from your children. Give this idea the respect that it deserves.

This all sounds really easy but the fact of it is that if you're going to try to change your child's bedtime routine to a more reasonable time, it's probably not going to be easy. The most important thing to remember though is that you must be consistent. Do not give up after two nights. Think of the long term consequences of letting your child stay up until you goto bed at 10pm. Does your child then want to get into bed with you? Is your marriage and your own mental health really going to survive this?

One of the better books which contains lots more information on this topic is "Ask Supernanny" by Jo Frost. You can get it here at SeekBooks

There are also some great 'net resources some of which guide you through, step by step on how to solve bedtime problems. This one offers a 100% money back guarantee!. Click Here!

If you are having no luck and you simply cannot get your baby to settle, it's time to do some further reading. But keep this in mind. Babies and young children will cry essentially only for a couple of reasons. Firstly if they're sick, if they're uncomfortable such as a wet nappy or being too hot or too cold, being hungry or if they want attention. If they stop crying when you pick them up, it's probably attention seeking behaviour. Start to eliminate the causes and go from there. If you're still running into trouble, it might be time to seek professional help. Perhaps start with your GP or local early childhood centre for advice.